noun: grief
  1. deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death.
    “she was overcome with grief”
    • informal
      trouble or annoyance.
      “they won’t give you any grief in the next few days”
Middle English: from Old French grief, from grever ‘to burden’ (see grieve).
Tonight I looked up the word grief, this past weekend was the 3 year anniversary since my grandmothers passing and in two weeks it will mark the passing of my grandfather as well. My family was over and we were having a wonderful time making cookies together when my mom passed me my grandmothers wedding album from her first marriage to my grandfather (the one who passed away two weeks after her) . Before looking at it I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t grieving but I wasn’t happy. I did not expect to start crying when I opened the cover to reveal my very young beautiful grandparents on their wedding day. I couldn’t get past the first page without an overwhelming feeling.
Everyone grieves in their own way, for some reason I don’t feel like I got the chance to fully grieve the death of my grandmother but I did when my grandfather past. My grandmother remarried before I was born and moved to Florida, when she passed away it was more of a shock and I never got the chance to say goodbye to her.
For the past three years I felt like a terrible grandchild for not missing my grandmother in the way that I missed my grandfather… But in reality I had different relationships with both my grandparents and it is unfair for me to compare them and how I grieved about them.
The point I am trying to achieve is that I miss my grandparents both equally the same but both in different ways. I am lucky to have had the time I had with them and without them I wouldn’t be who I am today.
xoxo – Allison McKensey